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  • Writer's picturelindsey lee

balancing feminine & masculine energy

Updated: Nov 3, 2020

Regardless of our expression of gender, we all have a feminine and a masculine essence within us. At the most basic level, our masculine energy is our mode of doing and our feminine energy is our mode of being. Our masculine is logic-driven and our feminine is intuition-guided. Our masculine gives and our feminine receives, if you want to get fairly... literal/anatomical with it.

Our masculine essence embodies: logic, time, structure, leadership, truth, freedom, yang, the warrior, light, the mind, emptiness, direction, ego, focus, strength, protection.

And the feminine essence embodies: expression, passion, radiance, shadow, the moon and the earth, animation, nature, yin, love, the senses and the body, connection, chaos & harmony, abundance, and creativity.

We tend to live in one energy over the other, but innately we yearn for balance and harmony over polarity.

Why do we yearn for balance? As the insightful Nina Camille said during her Experience Freedom Virtual Retreat, limiting ourselves to polarity [aka restricting ourselves to the EITHER/OR, instead of embracing the AND] very simply limits our experience of life. If we are always existing in one mode, we don’t see a complete picture of ourselves. We don’t gain a comprehensive lens for the world around us. We don’t receive the rich, full-color spectrum of our experience.

That’s reason enough for most of us! But more often than not, we seek balance because it doesn’t feel good to be dominant in one energy over the other. You know the feeling, right? You’ve been go-go-going since the break of dawn, giving the entirety of your time, energy, and caffeinated state to your job, your loved ones, your workout, your dog that needs to go for a walk. So many activities! Chores! Things to DO! Sound familiar? We all have lived that yang parade of a day so many times. In fact, our cultural programming demands more of our masculine energy ALL. THE. TIME. Therefore, it's really common to lean towards the masculine energy over the feminine in our western society.

I know personally I’ve been living in my masculine energy more lately as I am trying to build a career for myself independently. I’ve been hyper-focused on hustling, building structure in my days, setting goals for myself, and staying motivated and activated. I recognized this shift recently as it is a stark contrast to the first half of this year.

Among many things, 2020 has been a lesson in embracing the feminine energy. With the pandemic-induced lockdowns & involuntary life slowdowns, we had to learn how to BE instead of DO all of the time. In losing our jobs, travels, and social interactions, many of us feel deprived of this sense of external validation and recognition. We've had to reassess our relationship with productivity, protection, and direction. We’ve been called to connect to our inner purpose and realign with our intuitive guide -- our feminine essence.

♀ Who are we without the doing, the achieving, the labels?

♀ Who are we without the structure of our routines and our schedules?

♀ Who are we when our default masculine mode of operating no long serves us?

We’ve likely experienced -- both collectively and individually -- a long overdue reintroduction to our feminine energy this year. All of a sudden we’re baking banana bread instead of going out, visualizing new ways of living, brainstorming ideas, learning new hobbies, spending time outdoors in nature's fresh, less COVID-y air, reconnecting with friends in creative virtual ways, consuming less, and slowing down. The silver lining on this raincloud of a year is that I had space to explore my own feminine essence more often than (dare I say) I ever have: I brushed off my sewing machine and made myself some fun outfits for whenever I can boogie on a festival dancefloor again (please for the love of god let it be 2021!). I learned how to DJ for my living room (non)ragers of myself, my fiancé, and my dog. I started writing again merely for my own sanity and enjoyment.

So how do we harmonize our doing and being? How do we bring about this balance? Bringing awareness to these two essences within us is the best place to start. Begin with some questions:

⚦ What's more prevalent & dominant lately?

⚦ Which energy feels more repressed or quiet?

⚦ What areas of your life do you see one energy over?

⚦ Are you feeling more feminine or masculine when it comes to relationships, daily life, projects, wellbeing, career?

It might sound simple, but check in with yourself frequently. Journal or meditate to facilitate your own clarity.

Recognize first. Adapt and adopt second. Use this lens of recognition to make adjustments. For instance:

  • If you have a lot of ideas but aren’t getting anywhere with them, tap into your masculine and create a plan, a timeline, break them down and e x p a n d your ideas with structure.

  • If you are go-go-going, gift yourself an hour in your day to do literally anything you want -- remember: your feminine side is BLISS. PLEASURE. LIFE ITSELF. Let her live :)

  • If you’re feeling overly sensitive or needy, become your own protector. Create boundaries and stand firm in your position - you are your truth.

  • If you’re constantly giving away your energy or time to others, mother yourself. Nurture yourself. Receive.

Today, choose to harmonize your inner landscape. Gift yourself recognition and equanimity. Embrace your dualistic nature. Live from the "AND" mindset. Learn from all the divine and complimentary energies within you - Your shadow and light. Your yin and yang. Your feminine and masculine.

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